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"For great justice!"

This article, Things Junius is No Longer Allowed To Do in the Inquisition, is a non-canonical humor article for entertainment purposes. It is not to be taken seriously, and does not need to follow any storyline in particular.

CruxSeal
This article, Things Junius is No Longer Allowed To Do in the Inquisition, was created by Lither. Please do not edit this article without explicit permission from the author.
Servoskull
This article, Things Junius is No Longer Allowed To Do in the Inquisition, is still being created by the author. The author, Lither, apologises for the inconvenience.


In an alternate universe, the Inquisitor Lord named Junius Fabianus is actually a maverick. Here is a small list of the things he is no longer allowed to do.

  1. Must not declare Exterminatus just to "test out this totally awesome weapon the Mechanus gave me".
  2. Must not worship my bolter.
  3. Must not try and kill things that don't exist.
  4. Must not try and steal things that do not exist.
  5. Must not succeed at #3 & 4.
  6. Must not declare anyone to be a heretic unless I know it for certain.
  7. Must not forge evidence that someone is a heretic just so I can kill them.
  8. Must not declare Exterminatus on a star "just to see what happens".
  9. Must not sell the souls of everyone on the same planet as me just so those Dark Eldar "go bother someone else".
  10. Must not use the airlock to get rid of people who ask to many questions.
  11. Must not use Exterminatus to get rid of people who ask to many questions.
  12. Must not use Exterminatus to get rid of an "uppity Imperial Governor".
  13. Must not set things on fire to show that I can.
  14. Especially not if the things I am setting on fire are Loyalist Marines.
  15. Must not introduce an "Anti-Mary Sue Act" and use it to get rid of Kaldor Draigo.
  16. Must not use "Anti-Mary Sue Act" to get rid of the Ultramarines.
  17. Must not break the fourth wall again.
  18. Must not convert Chaos Daemons to the Imperial faith.
  19. Especially not Greater Daemons.
  20. Must not yell "Nobody expects the Inquisition" while attempting to sneak around.
  21. Must not declare Exterminatus because "someone looked at me funny".
  22. Must not declare Exterminatus on things that don't exist.
  23. Must not grow a beard just to set it on fire so I can fight naked with a flaming beard.
  24. Must not do the above while riding a bear.
  25. Must not do the above while making bad puns about bears.
  26. Must not do the above while sitting on top of a Baneblade which is also on fire.
  27. Must not do the above while in space.
  28. Must not become a pacifist.
  29. Must not sacrifice my retinue just so those Daemons "go bother someone else."
  30. Must not use Inquisitorial powers to change the name of the Imperial Governor to "Amanda Hugenkiss". That's just childish.
  31. Must not use Inquisitorial powers to commission a personal Baneblade forever. No matter how cool it sounds.
  32. Must not continue to attempt to disprove the people who tell me that Exterminatus fixes everything.
  33. Must not attempt to disprove the people who tell me that Exterminatusing Khorne's personal stronghold is impossible.
  34. Must not be a constant fountain of overused memes.
  35. Must not shoot everything that moves when visiting a world free of all suspected taint.
  36. Must not use "I sat on that damn lever again" as my defence in a formal investigation into the use of Exterminatus.
  37. Must not use "I wanted to see what that button did" as my defence in a formal investigation into the use of Exterminatus.
  38. Must not tell everyone I meet of that incident involving me, fifty Slaaneshi cultists, a goat and a Dark Eldar Archon to everyone I meet.

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